Thursday, January 29, 2009

professionalism.... (blahg #29)

spent 13 hours
at the school.

going to bed
now, going to
bed now, going
to bed now.

need to go
back and do
more work. bad
grimm. kitty cat
on my lap
says, "purr." i
have not lost
my mind, merely
resting it for
the moment. ciao.

grimm

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

snow to ice (blahg #28)

another day off.
saw rodney henry's
new band, the
cold cold heartbreakers.
they opened for
scott weiland of
the stone temple
pilots. they sounded
good... rodney seems
to be at
home most when
the amps are
loud and the
drums were crashing.

ramshead live was
huge as usual.
scott weiland went
on, i stayed
for exactly 15
seconds. was heading
with rodney and
crew to some
sort of "lounge"
and was stopped
cold by the
security guy who
asked, "where are
you going to?"

"with them." pointing
to rodney. "no
you aren't." "of
course I'm not."

so i thought,
maybe i should
get out of
here. i took
off and got
text from rodney,
he had gotten
backstage pass for
me... but alas,
i was already
in the parking
garage. he's a
good friend, that
rodney. eat pie.

john updike died.
that was surprising.
i read rabbit,
run in college.
i don't think
i got it.
i'll have to
go back and
re read it.

here's a site
with Updike poetry.

grimm

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

the patience pays (blahg #27)

this is a
day where we
don't have the
school. reprieve? maybe.
still, i must
continue to gather
the plans for
script writing and
video production. a
class i'm not
sure what i'm
doing with, exactly.
it will come
to me eventually.

i will, however,
be online today.
timothy is scheduled
to come over
today as well.
record record record.

last night i
purchased a neti
kettle. my sinuses
are horrendous and
i snore like
some prehistoric sub
creature. a dose
of mucinex D,
salt water in
my nose and
a breathe right
strip and i'm
sleeping a lot
quieter. and better.

yes!!!! take that
nose. i'll catch
y'all later. grimm.

Monday, January 26, 2009

in truth i (blahg #'s 21-26)

should be working
but here i
sit at the
computer tickling keys
whose top have
letters printed on
them. they are
well worn and
greasy from my
fingers and food.

in truth i
am a slob
i am a
dreamer i am
now certainly lost
and drifting, treading,
reeling, hoping, wishing,
sinking, praying, lurching,
sliding, searching, and
kidding my way
to the top.

some days i
feel like j.
alfred prufrock's little
brother, younger, more
successful but genetically
coded with doubts.
i think about
music ninety percent
of the time.
i envision myself
playing and writing.
some mornings i
do. some evenings
i don't. balance
is some strange
country i'd like
to visit someday.

albums and guitar
strings, wires and
hard drives coupled
with RAM. digital
notes and real
emotions? i haven't
written a song
that relied on
my real experiences
for a while.
the songs, the
voices that creep
out are not
so much cinematic
as they are
public service announcements.


here's a tip
for you kid.
be yourself, sure
it hurts a
little but there's
less you have
to remember than
if you're living
a lie, and
if it's just
a dreamworld... you
don't have to
wake up... like
a certain prufrock
i read about.

i was talking
to sharon adedijgiieedk
this morning, she's
my department chair
at the school.
i was explaining
this concept from
borges, the existential
argentinian, about the
aleph. the aleph
is the single
point from which
you can see
the entire universe.
borges' unsuccessful writer
"friend" discovered the
aleph during a
childhood accident. if
you lie on
your back, in
his basement, and
you stare at
the 19th step,
the aleph makes
itself apparent.

something very interesting
had occurred to
me as i
went through this
explanation... i'm now
entering a separate
stage of who
i am. evolution.
i have been
reading more, striking
out in new
territories... undiscovered places
curiosity is not
an impetus in
this case. in
truth it is
a broadening, a
re-calculation of my
facts and psyche.
who i want
to be as
opposed to what
you might see
me as. i

do think people
see what they
want to see...
members of the
faculty see me
as some curmudgeonly
bitter, mean elitist.
others see me
as a professional
and others, i'm
quite sure don't
even see me.

now the process
of murdering and
creating the faces
i prepare to
meet the people
who come and
go talking of
real housewives and mojitos

lyrics from forth
coming andrew grimm
solo disc...

the things you
thought were right
were all against
the rules.

when you lose
yourself you can
laugh out loud
or laugh alone.

the last time
i felt i
was anyone was
in you arms.

and how we
start to how
we end is
nothing new.

all i see
is smoke.

show me your
hands show me
your smile i
want to see.

where you go
where you've been
where i want
to be.

breathe in clouds
cigarette smoke
is catch
release.

you can't lose
a game
if you never
play.


i hope this
makes up for
time spent away.

take care and
talk to you
tomorrow. Bye now.

grimm


"Truth cannot penetrate a closed mind. If all places in the universe are in the Aleph, then all stars, all lamps, all sources of light are in it, too." Jorge Luis Borges "the Aleph"

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

history's motion (blahg # 20)

naysayers ratchet up
beckon screaming and
kicking rants against
the president elect.
funny, when you
lose... you lose
hard, eh? blog
posts talking about
his dangerous nature
and that we
have been scammed
we won't be
so happy in
three months time,
nay, three weeks
time, nay three
days time. he
will apparently destroy
our country. that's
too bad, because
i was ready
to become reaquainted
with the old
u.s. but apparently
i will be
sorely disappointed. however,
i don't believe
those angry bloggers
pounding their keys
with insolent fury
and dire expressions
twisted and contorted
on their faces...
one eye bulging
as if it
may "pop" at
any moment, shoot
across the room,
and up rolling
underneath the coffee
table. when taking
a broad view
of the election,
i saw the
choices with macro
lenses. obama: smart
young african american.
mccain: bitter old
white man. hmmmm...
most folks wanted
a change in
politics and to
my surprise they
voted for it.
they got it.
for the first
time in my
voting career i'm
enthused to do
something, to take
heed and pay
attention... i may
even listen to
the weekly radio
address. wow... who
knows... here are
some final words
on this topic...

so deep under
water counting seconds
and pressure on
the outside matching
the pressure within
light trickles through
the murk and
makes a promise
"air is abundant
on the other
side, i swear.
all you have
to do is
float up to
the top." the
promise becomes desire
and the weights
others have tied
to either ankle
can no longer
pull downward silently.
that first breath,
drawn in full
makes good on
any unspoken promise.

grimm

Monday, January 19, 2009

disenfranchised (blahgs #16, #17, #18, and #19)

i have left
you for dead.
not even turning
my head, i
logged into my
computer and glazed
my eyes to
not log in,
to not blahg
out. apologize mean
zero when multiplied
by the original
effort. it is
true. you can
look it up, but
we've all been
in similar circumstances.
we ask people
to be honest,
we let them
in, and they
do terrible damage
to us. greg
brown says, "I
can't believe your
hands and mouth,
did all that
to me..." truth
doesn't need to
wash its hands,
ever. this weekend
my wife and
i went to
see barack obama
speak at city
hall. we didn't
get into the
plaza but we
ended up in
harbor place ampitheater
watching a big
screen... i guess
i'd rather be
somewhere warm, but
it didn't matter.
i felt like
crying the entire
time. at a
couple points my
tear ducts did
fill up. to
summarize how i
feel about obama,
as it gets
closer to his
inauguration i feel
like i am
getting my country
back... that may
be a bit
dramatic so maybe
i can see
it as a
renewal of dialogue.
a re-introduction, yes?


"Andrew meet the
U.S. U.S. meet
Andrew. Play nice."

something like that
i suppose. the
energy where we
were standing was
good and positive.
when bush's name
was mentioned there
was no overly
loud booing or
name calling, just
a collective sigh.

the sigh is
probably the most
underated form of
communication by the
way. i don't
think most people
get a good
read on a
sigh because of
its subtlety its
sneakiness, ducking and
hiding its meaning
behind non-confrontational communication.

i plan on
the inauguration at
school. i'll try
not to cry
too much. just
a little. right.

june star played
at the ol
bertha's saturday night.
fun times. but
man, time dragged
on. we ended
up playing three
sets and limping
over the finish
line. for no
practice, we did
alright. album work
is coming along
slowly. it will
happen. but what
to do about
FAWM? i'm not
entriely convinced that
i can do
it this year...
so many things
happening. so many
things left undone
at this point.
kind of like
starting four novels
and wondering if
there is something
wrong with you...
there's nothing wrong
with me. i
guess... kind of
like james mcmurtry
when he says,
"if anyone can
say they're alright,
so can i."

grimm

Thursday, January 15, 2009

my missed blahg (blahg's #14 and 15)

i am sorry
a missed appointment
trajectory not accounted
drifted from focus
out of view
obscured without lenses
purpose and dedication
slacked and ridden
promises folded, burned.
nearly forty-eight hours
and no statement.
sorry apologies shame.

june star is
a magical band.
i write and
play with the
people who communicate
clearly. some new
satellite additions
to the band
are coming up.
will post their
names at some
point... but most
folk'll agree that
it is good.
the tim and
the grimm duo
shows are sounding
great. tight, expressive.
times when we
play i feel
invulnerable and immutable.

emerson... you said
"no harm could
ever befall me..."
that is how
i feel when
playing live. i
don't always feel
in control but
i do feel
like an authority
an archivist and
a commentator. these
roles bound and
wound into tight
lines percussing off
of the microphone.

see you soon

grimm

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

wtmd (blahg #13)

june star rides
the airwaives tonight
wtmd.org 89.7
at 8 o'clock.
excitement

grimm

Monday, January 12, 2009

lonely (blahg #12)

joe squared pizza
sits on north
avenue. it looks
out on urban
retooling. hipster. MICA.
excellent and new.
their pizza is
square. get it?
it's hip to
be square, once
sang Huey Lewis.
although last minute,
i had a
good time... playing.
rodney henry gallivanted
in and played
some songs. like
usual his guitar
skewed a bit
out of tune
and barked to
his command a
a well used
instrument will do.
fun times, indeed.
i played while
sitting in a
chair, which was
new to me.
got some new
friends who were
sitting in the
back. doin' their
pizzas. I was
able to talk
about House, the
doctor, you know.
funny. the night
was recorded, we
got a free
pizza, free national
bohemian beers and
twenty dollarinos. whatever
domino's... i'll never
go back to
you, i swear.

grimm

Sunday, January 11, 2009

rolling on and on (blahg #11)

oooohhh... joe squared
is back on.

me solo playing

last night was
fun, in gettysburg.
josh of booker
lee was way
friendly and a
fun room. timmy
and i didn't
joke around nearly
as much as
usual. i will
be posting something
i recorded there.

yeah.

tonight at 930
pm soon, excellent.

grimm

Saturday, January 10, 2009

in the morning (blahg # 10)

the early morning
hours are about
my most favorite,
i suppose. i
am my most
creative as well.
it is unclear
as to why
but it's true.

the cold morning
air patiently slipping
under the door,
the coffee pot
gurgling to completion.
my wife breathing
sleepily under covers.
these are the
sounds that accompany
my typing and
my thinking.

if the moment
is broken with
the ring of
the phone or
a knock on
the door, momentum
may never return.
it does not
seem to be
a muscular concept
does it? momentum
is not merely
exercise. it is
will and physics.
emotional physics perhaps.
yes, that's the
jaunx. emotional physics.

makes sense, right?

grimm

Friday, January 09, 2009

the late (blahg #9)

oh consistency here
is the mistress
we all need
portable muse who
speaks when not
spoken to... she
is the magic
the mojo, the
whatever. the detail
and the cracks... the
devil and her
best friends forever.
the sunday night
show is not
going to happen...
speedbumps are playing
the metro gallery.
good deal for
them... baltimore on
a sunday is
not conducive to
live music, period.

so take that.
gettysburg here we
come... tomorrow night
we delve into
history and weed
out the civil
war tunes... we'll
let our ancestor's
know that we
love them with
our special sounds.

grimm

Thursday, January 08, 2009

the tooth fairy (blahg #8)

the parking lot
was behind me
and my foot
teasing the gas
pedal. root canal
here i come.
first one ever.
got my evaluation.
yes sir, you
need one, let's
schedule you for
later on, down
the line. lights
out. pay with
plastic? yes, plastic
indeed!

grimm

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

focus and clarity (blahg #7)

let me direct
the course open
but decided, consistent
today the blahg
will focus on
"tired," "hopefulness," and
"dreams unfulfilled, diminished."

"Tired"

on waking today
my body ached
i coughed and
rolled out of
bed. i slunk
down the steps
creaked to the
computer, hunched behind
the keyboard and
began to type.
each key stroke
an effort, true.
i'm 36 and
should not be
this tired. my
alarm went off
and i clicked
it's switch to
silence the urgent
persistent beeping and
i realized i
could sleep forever.

"hopefulness"
not a favorite
word or concept.
i believe that
hope indicates desperation
and that, in
some capacity, the
person who hopes
either has two
issues he or
she must confront:

a. the situation
is dire and
urgent, failure imminent

b. the ability
or the option
in self confidence
is not available


"dreams unfulfilled, diminished"


it feels as
though i am
dreaming, day dreaming
about stuff out
of my reach?
as my unfulfilled
dreams morph from
"dream" to "goal"
to "scheme" to
"fancy" to "oh,
someday it'd be
nice." i would
like to think
that recharging to
charge ahead is
in my nature.
defeat is initiated
only by self
acknowledgement, dream suicide?
when others doubt
i suppose, homicide?

today i will
twice as many
push ups, that
will show them.

grimm

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

wintery mix (blahg #6)

ice forms somewhere
atmospheric tension shifts
droplets plink deftly
shining pavement crystalline
asphalt slides glimmer
brakes tires lights
warm bed dreamed
blanket wool cat
sleep heavy lids
good mornings too
good nights abandoned
until tomorrow, farewell.

grimm

Monday, January 05, 2009

quick notes (blahg #5)

woof, the school
appeared from the
corner and my
foot, booted in
leather and tied
with a bow
knot, pressed the
pedal that makes
me go "forward."
thirteen days after
leaving the building.
thirteen days of
sleep and imbibing.
thirteen days of
eating, sleeping, rejuvenation,
writing, recording, singing,
laughing, remembering, fleeing,
watching, reading, reading,
reading, reading, and
sleeping. new rules
are created for
my path and
speed. full steam?
why not? don't
you fear burn
out? Mr. Grimm?
i will give
you my best
my all, my
effort, my sweat...
maybe not my
soul... that i
own outright, no?
rarely do we
feel "okay" and
i'm feeling "okay"

grimm

Sunday, January 04, 2009

the show (blahg #4)

hello all, last
night i went,
with my wife,
to the caleb
stine show at
the ram's head
live. huge venue
crowd of 100-
150? maybe, i
didn't do a
head count. but
ellen cherry opened
the show and
she sounded good,
as usual... after
playing with her
over the past
four or five
years she's become
more comfortable with
her voice and
her playing. so
it was a
solid set. caleb's
set was good...
he was battling
a flu type
thing, but he
was able to
pull it out...
chatted with him
for a while...
hadn't seen him
in a while.
good times had
by all. now
to the basement.

grimm

Saturday, January 03, 2009

the history of things (blahg #3)

here's how it
goes. it is
relentless and moving,
sleep may be
induced to a
minimum. the transparent
second hands sweep
clockwise, of course...
why wouldn't they.
or at least
clockwise on this
plane. history writes
itself, we're just
part of the
cogs spinning along,
even if we
think we're spectators...
baby, no, obligation
is our middle
name. even a
coma patient, delicious
pun eh?, plays
his or her
or its part.

slink slank slunk

june star has
26 some songs
sung slow and
fast for the
new album. recording
lurches slowly and
dangerously. my solo
disc will have
ten tunes on
and it is
nearly done. will
work on it
in a few
minutes. yes, begging
time. we have
some shows coming
up and would
like to invite
you to the
places we play.
gettysburg... i can't
believe it... my
great great great great
grandfather's fought there.
one made it,
one did not.
they fought on
the same side
union union union.
venerable wesley is
buried there somewhere.
maybe i'll go
early and connect
with the history
that set forth
my own path.

grimm

Friday, January 02, 2009

test this (blahg #2)

yes, here is
the spririt, the
hutzpah to stay
consistent. day two
and my blahg
is out of
control. watch
me write, click
and muse. recording
today with timmy.
maybe i could
post a video?
shows are coming
up and i
will be playing
soon. funny, el
rancho is coming
up on a
year's worth of
life. will be
playing their party
with other local
luminaries. hoorah. great.
have been reading
jorge luis borges,
a gift from
lawrence... he, borges,
has some great
stuff in there.
including a couple
poems titled, limits.
here's a taste:

I imagine, in the dawn, I hear a worn
murmur of multitudes, faltering, fading away.
They are everything that has loved me and forgotten;
Space, Time, and Borges now are leaving me.

take that, universe.

grimm

Thursday, January 01, 2009

the new year begins (blahg #1)

so let's see
if i can
make this happen
everyday i will
attempts i will
make to contact
you on a
more consistent basis.
punctuation may suffer
however, the cat
to my right
will purr awesomely
she is this
little moon, satellite
in constant orbit
around me and
the couch, the
couch is a
stable, comfortable, almost
human. a good
friend. no work
out today. not
lazy, but the
gym is closing
at one pm.
will continue recording
the album, i've
been working on.
written last year
the songs are
good, the music
sounds great, the
vocals need some
tweaking, for sure.
what is it
about recording my
voice that bothers
me. it never
sounds how i
envision. compressed and
baritone. clear to
eq. i think
i will be
mixing the album
on our stereo
compact cd player.
if that works...
wow.

grimm