So, let's go back a minute. Let's just hold up. My brain, in all its saltwatery, bloody function, is having a hard time processing the current situation as it has played out for the past few weeks.
The tour concluded, and my weariness quickly shifted to a warm sense of safety (maybe irony...) and belonging as the Baltimore skyline appeared on the left. Baltimore, home. Without derision, without disappointment, we drove up 95 and through the Harbor Tunnel and into David's neighborhood. No welcoming party but we felt welcomed anyway.
So, it's not safety that we felt. We were both feeling the same thing, though. Not safe,though. Safe means there have been threats and injury cast around, flung, pressured, pushed, or poked at us. America, or at least the America we traveled greeted us with smiles and handshakes and cd sales and encouragement and more smiles, it's a nice place, except for southern Missouri and northern Arkansas; they are blasted wastelands of smoldering ash, barren of hope.
Familiarity, a warmth in knowing where we were, a personal "knowing" and that sense of home eased us into Baltimore. It was more like we drove into it, though. Like passing through some sort of bubble or barrier, a cloud I suppose, but what it comes down to, is understanding how complete or thorough this sense seemed. Permeation. Spending two weeks burning through the Midwest and the deep, dirty, thick, sour, sweet, lazy, and swampy South and far from home gets past your skin and in to your bones, but home is the marrow.
There was no question about where to turn, what time to load-in, where to eat, where to sleep, how much is that, what kind of beer should we buy...none of those questions were urgent anymore; we already knew the answers. We could have taken our hands from the wheel and still have ended up at home.
Now, as my clicking gets a bit tiring to me... and I look at my office space... time to rethink my mode of operation... long term sub job starts on April 18th... Ends in June... two months of the straight job... funny how people see me as "figuring it out" in terms of the full time job. I have figured out nothing. Except some people are more generous then others, that discipline is a good thing, even if I don't have it all the time.
Today, I rearrange... make a goal... pick up an amp... tonight we play at Joe Squared Pizza for a dinner show... we'll see how that goes, eh?
Andrew
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